Wednesday 14 December 2011

Too much monkey business and finally I am newsworthy!!!

Let me take you back a few days - back to Kumily in the State of Kerala ...

It is early Monday morning and Claude and I have been up and out to join our new American friend Rita for breakfast at the 'French Kitchen Restaurant'. Please don't be fooled, the only thing French on the menu was a baguette and that looked highly suspicious. However, the food was lovely, I had my banana and chocolate pancake to give me enough of  a sugar rush to get me through the early morning and we made our way back to the homestay ...

On walking through the entrance gates, the lovely lady that works there took one look at us and burst out laughing, whilst holding up the local newspaper and shouting out: 'Guess who made the news?'

She then pointed to page one and a full colour photograph of ME storming off from the Kerala/Tamil Nadu border the day before!! The newspaper is all in Malayalam (Kerala's national language) but apparently the script under was commenting on the 'poor tourist having problems getting to the other side'!! As I stared at the photo all I kept thinking was, "Thank goodness I had my hair tied back yesterday"!!


Unfortunately I didn't have time to start signing autographs (!?) as our taxi was waiting to take myself, Claude and Rita down to Trivandrum in the south of Kerala. So Claude and I ran upstairs to our room to collect our bags.

There was I minding my own business, trying to load up with my backpack, that seems to be gaining weight at each destination, when suddenly I heard a high pitch squeal and turned to see Claudine out on the Verandah (did you know that was originally an Indian word!?) surrounded by a family of monkeys - and I don't just mean the parents and kids, I think they bought their cousins and aunts and uncles too!!! Some were standing on the railings, some where on the tiled floor by her feet and some where just staring from the overhanging tree.

was desperate to take a photo, I thought it was hysterical, but my friend was turning whiter and her pitch was getting higher as she screamed "Rosalie, do something!'' When I calmly asked her what she wanted me to do and explained that she just needed to stay calm and carry on making her way down the stairs, she told me she didn't really expect me to do anything and was just trying to let  me know that she was scared. Although
I had kind of already gathered that from her ear bursting screams and the fact that she looked like she was about to pass out.

So I finished loading my bags on my back and joined her out on the verandah, then slowly managed to get her to shuffle along towards the escape route, as the monkeys just stared back at us. 

Suddenly a 'young-un' reached out and touched the strap on Claudine's bag, causing her to screech like a mother monkey and run off at full pelt down the stairs, practically leaving a trail of smoke behind her!! (It's amazing what a bit of adrenaline can do isn't it? Usually she can hardly move under the weight of her back pack).

Claudine, Rita and I all took our travel sickness pills and set off in the taxi on our six hour drive down south and finally arrived at the Capital around 3 30pm, having spent most of the journey discussing ailments etc ... with Rita as she had admitted to us that she is a midwife back in the States - well when I say 'we' discussed, it was more like Claudine having a full on consultation starting with exzema on her face down to the pain in one of her toes, but fingers crossed, it looks like she is going to be ok!!!

We said our goodbyes and Rita went off in search of a train to take her further down south, while the two of us went for a bowl of soup before getting on the coach for our ten hour journey back up North to Trichy over in Tamil Nadu!!

The bus left at 5 30 and we settled into our seats ready for the journey ahead, quite pleased that our next hotel was going to be for three nights, giving us ample time to catch up on washing and just relax for a bit. At around 9 30 the bus stopped off at some kind of rest stop with a large cafe serving ... Indian Thalis! Claude and I had a nutritious meal of: one banana, one packet of chocolate bourbons and a mango juice - mmmm.
Back on the bus I managed to finally fall asleep, after putting my ipod on to full volume and trying to listen to Bruno Mars' album above the sound of the Indian film about death and destruction, being played on the bus also at full volume! 

We arrived at Trichy at 2 50am!! It took us about 20 minutes to haggle with a rickshaw driver over how much it would cost to take us to the hotel - by now we have learnt that whatever we are charged the price should generally be half - and we walked into the lobby of the Hotel Sonas at 3 45am!!!

You know the saying 'the lights are on but no one's home'? Well that literally was the case that day! Relieved that the hotel was open at such an early time we walked over to the bright reception area to find a notice confirming that 'check in' was 24 hours, but, no one was around!? At least we thought that was the case until we saw the SECURITY GUARD fast asleep on the sofa!!!

We walked over to him and said rather loudly: "Excuse me ... hello ... excuse me". Nothing, no response, not even a snore!

And so, resigned to our situation, we found another couple of couches and tried to sleep. Even though I kept waking up every time the phone rang at reception and yet still the SECURITY GUARD slept through!

Finally around 5 30 the 'NIGHT MANAGER' walked over and woke us up, apologizing profusely and took us up to our room; One of the more impressive rooms so far, except that the sheets were torn and slightly grubby, so we asked to see another. I went downstairs and waited by the bags while Claudine inspected a few other rooms, I figured that she would be best to sort that side of things out.

I felt very uncomfortable sitting there while the Security Guard stood by reception glaring at me, so I thought I would just try to be nice and smile at him. I did. And without batting an eyelid he carried on staring back at me, straight faced, while letting rip one of the loudest farts I have ever heard!!

I wanted to burst out laughing, I felt like I was in the middle of that scene with Peter Sellers in a Pink Panther Movie! But instead I resorted to my British roots, reached into my bag, took out my phone and pretended to be distracted by a text message and act as if everything was perfectly normal.

Thankfully, Claudine finally approved of a room and I got to lay my head down on a soft pillow and fall asleep around 6 15!
The alarm went off at 9 30 and we struggled downstairs for our breakfast in the 'Gem Multicuisine Gala Dining Room'. I had an undercooked, over peppered fried egg and crawled back to bed.

We finally both got up around 3pm and went out in search of MacDonald's!!! Unfortunately the nearest one is in Chennai, which would involve going to the airport and flying over there. And so we settled for veggie noodles at 'The Bread Basket' - don't ask!!!

So, our original journey from Kerala to Tamil Nadu was only going to take three hours, but due to the problems by the border where we had planned to cross, we ended up taking another route which took nearly 24 hours from start to finish!! What a day ... what a laugh!!!


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