Fair dinkum Sheila!

And so I had reached my final week down in the Southern Hemisphere before the long haul back to Old Blighty and I wanted to make the most of it!

I woke up to brilliant sunshine yet again and spent the day with Caroline and Pierre over at their friend's house swimming in the pool and 'throwing a few shrimp on the barbie!' Well actually it was a couple of chicken schnitzels and a few sausages (snaggers as they are called in Oz), but I was certainly starting to feel like a true Aussie - especially with me curly hair and freckles! (Which strangely enough classes me as 'a bluey' in Australian slang?!)

The following day entailed a trip to 'Aqwa' - which I had originally thought was probably a typo or down to Australians not being able to spell 'Aqua' but it turns out is actually an acronym for 'Aquarium of Western Australia'! And it certainly was 'bonzer' (see I'm getting into the lingo?!) I saw the most amazing marine life swimming all around me as Pierre and I walked through the glass tunnel under the water. There were Sting Rays the size of coffee tables and turtles just as big, a few sharks, an assortment of exotic fish and a human! Yes that's right, a human! Well actually he was a diver sat at the bottom handing out buckets of food to the marine life as it swam by.

Then after a leisurely lunch down at Hillary's boat harbour, the afternoon was spent resting on the beach! (This holiday stuff is very tiring!) 

That evening, as we sat watching 'The Block' (an Australian TV reality show whereby pairs of contestants compete against each other to renovate and redecorate identical properties on a tight budget and hardly any sleep) I noticed that my eye was starting to feel itchy. I rubbed it a few times and thought nothing of it.

When I went up to bed a few hours later, performing my ablutions (as TC would say), I took a look at my itchy eye in the mirror and noticed a grain of sand just sitting on the edge of my iris. I splashed it with water but it didn't move, I splashed it again and still nothing. I touched it with the tip of my finger and still it didn't move. But it was itching like hell!

And so I composed myself and calmly walked back down stairs and over to Caroline where I nervously interrupted her game of Candy Crush and told her not to panic, that I was fine, but that I thought I had a grain of sand imbedded in my eyeball! (As I've said before, I am not a drama queen, nor am I prone to histrionics!)

The thing is, I knew that like me, Caroline was slightly adverse to anything to do with eyeballs, so I wasn't actually sure who, out of the two of us, was going to pass out first. Pierre was asleep upstairs so there was no one else to help.

Caroline remained strong and without batting an eyelid (excuse the pun) walked over to the fridge and took out some eye drops, then walked back over to where I was now lying on the sofa. She thought I'd laid back to enable her to pipette the drops into my eye. I didn't want to let her know that I was actually pretty close to throwing up and passing out; that the room had already started spinning as my brain threw up a few images of me having to be carted off to hospital, where I would have to have my eyeball popped out of its socket and washed out in a bucket of water ... Caroline dripped the tiny droplets of solution into my eye. I blinked, then blinked again, but the bloody grain of sand did not move! I started to feel sick at the thought of the tiny alien body burrowing its way deeper into my eyeball. However, I was not prepared to spend the rest of my trip in hospital! I had kangaroos to see, koalas to meet and more beaches to lie on!! And all of that completely over road my fear of losing an eye (I had to get my priorities right?) I decided the best thing to do was to go to bed and hopefully by the time I woke up in the morning, the grain of sand would have dislodged itself.

I took a couple of travel sickness tablets to ensure that I would sleep, tucked myself into bed and drifted off. Only to be woken a few hours later by the most almighty thunderstorm I have ever heard! 

It was horrendous! The thunder sounded like the roof of the house was being ripped off then thrown back on again and there was sheet as well as fork lightening going on. I was so petrified, my heart was racing and I moved all electrical gadgets quickly away from the bed, just in case they got hit by a lightening bolt and electrocuted me! (You see this is why it's good for me to travel with TC; she is the one that tends to panic and think up the most ludicrous of scenarios, which in turn keeps me sane and balanced as I try to keep her calm. But without her around my mind goes into complete and utter overdrive).

Luckily the storm soon passed over, I was neither electrocuted, nor was I attacked by the monsters under my bed (see what I mean) and above all, when I looked at my eye in the mirror, the grain of sand had disappeared and I was finally able to sink into a deep and restful sleep.

I woke up the following morning overcome with excitement! I was about to fulfil one of my childhood dreams - to see a real live kangaroo!

Pierre dropped Caroline and me off at Whiteman Park, where we hurried into The Caversham Wildlife Park and I treated the two of us to a plastic poncho each as lo and behold it had started raining!

But despite the weather, I was determined, I was going to see a Kangaroo no matter what and even though Caroline was concerned that her hair was going to go frizzy (yeah right, Caroline you have no idea, before I cut my hair short, it would frizz so much that I couldn't even get through doorways!), she grinned and bore it as we made our way along the path, looking at all the weird and wonderful different animals, some of which I'd never even heard of before, (And I had done an A Level in zoology! Ok I may have failed an A Level in zoology!), until finally, we came across the Kangaroos!

They were amazing! I loved them. I could have just stayed there for hours! There were loads of them, either lying around drying out in the sun that had just appeared, or just resting. Most of the females had little Joeys (actually some were rather large Joeys) hanging out of their pouches, but what I loved most of all was the fact that they would just hop on over and feed out of my hand! I felt quite emotional ...

I finally managed to tear myself away and we went to check on that other well known marsupial - the Koala bear, (a bit of a misnomer as they aren't actually bears?!) Now the Koala doesn't really do anything all day except spend half of it eating eucalyptus leaves, which leaves them completely stoned so they spend the other half of the day sleeping, anywhere! 

And so after a brilliant morning at The Wildlife Park, Pierre picked us up in the car and we drove off to the vineyards, where the three of us partook in a little bit of wine tasting. I think I made all the correct noises and gestures, as I basically know nothing about wine. I generally just drink what ever is placed in front of me and even then it doesn't take much before I start getting tipsy! (One sniff of the cork is all that does it!) and my little venture into wine tasting was no exception - though I think Caroline may have even less tolerance than me!

However, the alcohol in my system was soon absorbed by the cheese tasting that followed and even more importantly by the chocolate tasting that came next!

All in all it was a 'beaut of a day' and one that I will never forget and with only two more days left in Australia I was already feeling sad about having to leave!

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oy, oy, oy!

And so our tour in Indonesia had come to an end, but my adventure wasn't over yet! I still had another two weeks left and I was going to be 'flying solo' - well kind off?!

Having had a leisurely breakfast with Sally, TC and the two Jos (now known as Jo M and Jo F; I've only just realised a surname would have helped to distinguish them from each other in my blog!?), I collected my ever faithful backpack and passport as I was to be the first to leave; TC was catching her flights back to London that afternoon and the two Jos were staying another night before travelling around Bali for two more weeks.

My taxi arrived, I stood up and said: "I'll cry", TC said "She will" and, I did! Pathetic maybe but I'm just not good with goodbyes! I wouldn't mind, but we'd all agreed to meet up in Bournemouth in the summer anyway, plus TC and I live close enough to get on each other's nerves on a regular basis back home in London!

And so I was off to the airport in Denpasar (the capital of Bali) where I was catching a three and a half hour flight to Perth on AirAsia! I'm not one of the most calmest of flyers, so I'm sure you can imagine how nervous I was feeling, considering the week after I had booked the aforementioned flight, one of the Airasia planes 'fell' out of the sky!

I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare and enough wifi to download The Killing - Season Two, (sorry TC but at the risk of getting fired from work, you should have stayed on with me!)

Having found a nice restaurant to have lunch, I dutifully 'Whatsapped' TC to let her know exactly where the toilets were, (her stomach was still not behaving), and to let her know the food was really good - she was ever so grateful.

Then I texted my friends Caroline and Pierre in Perth, to inform them that I was about to board the plane and to go over my requirements: "100% thread Egyptian cotton bed linen and an Adonis with a hairy chest and tight butt cheeks to serve me breakfast in bed every morning". Caroline texted me back and said that Pierre was hers so I'd have to make do with Thi the dog but he did have a hairy chest and tight butt cheeks too!

Caroline moved from London to Australia over thirty years ago, where she met Pierre (originally from New Zealand) and they eventually settled down in Perth. It's been quite a few years since she last visited the UK, so I was really excited to see her and Pierre again, let alone visit Australia and to finally be able to wear all the 'forbidden' vest tops and sundresses I had schlepped around Java!

Caroline was the youngest of three kids growing up next door to us in East Finchley and being that much older (sorry Caroline but it's true) she used to babysit my brother, sister and me on a regular basis. As far as my parents were concerned, Caroline was a bit of a hippy and my dad used to joke that she was a bad influence on us. But I have fond memories of sitting in her bedroom, listening to music, staring at the psychedelic wallpaper and inhaling the strong sense of patchouli, whilst her older brother Johnnie would take my brother Daniel on scary adventures around the cemetery in the woods at the bottom of our road! (Nothing wrong with that?!)

Thankfully my flight ran smoothly; I watched three episodes as a distraction and I managed to get through customs in Perth without anyone questioning the wooden bangle I had bought in Bali! (Australia has strict laws about not bringing in ANY food, animal or agricultural products, so much so that even the bottle of water I had bought in the airport just before boarding the plane was confiscated off me!!)

I passed through customs with flying colours and looked around to see where my friends were, but there were no warm smiling faces to greet me, or arms open wide for a welcoming hug! Panicking that I may have flown into the wrong part of Australia, I texted Caroline and asked if she was hiding? She told me to hang tight that Pierre was on his way, there'd been a slight problem but not to worry. Apparently for some reason, the Airasia website had said my flight was delayed five hours and not due in until midnight!

Having only met Pierre once, many years ago, I couldn't remember what he looked like and asked Caroline if he would recognise me, or did she suggest that I just blindly climb into the back of a car with any strange looking man that approaches and says: "Goodday!"

I looked up just as a man walked up to me and asked if I was Rosalie? Now considering that my name really isn't such a well known one, nor is it ever pronounced correctly by anyone who doesn't know me, (plus he did nod when I said "Pierre?") I quite happily gave him a hug and we set off for their home in Wembley Downs.

It was so nice to see Caroline again, as well as meet a couple of their family members (originally from Scotland) and the infamous and gorgeous dog Thi, that they are currently fostering whilst he gets over his Anxiety Attachment Disorder. (He's on Prozac now and pretty chilled out!) 

Then I was off to bed (the sheets were 100% Egyptian cotton!) and immediately fell asleep; though somehow missing the nightly ritual of TC shuffling around the room, counting her mosquito bites before getting into her bed and announcing: "If there's anything you need to say, then say it now because I'm about to put in my ear plugs!"

I woke up the following morning still not quite believing I was in Australia and hoping that at some point this week I would fulfil one of my life long dreams of seeing Kangaroo and Koala bears!

Downstairs Caroline was already up and playing Candy Crush (that is so last year Caroline, you need to move onto Bubble Witch Saga now!) and Pierre had gone out Quadbiking for the day with his son, grandson and their friends. So it was going to be a girlie day for two.

Caroline asked what I wanted to do, I told her the most important thing was for me to get a leg wax! She just stared back at me aghast. When she realised I was being serious, she then informed me that it was Sunday so no salons would be open and if I was that desperate I should shave them. I stared back at her aghast! (OMG! That is sacrilegious for a beauty therapist like myself!!) 

Having consoled myself in the fact that we would not be going to the beach that day, I took great pleasure in putting on my 'forbidden' sundress and we went out for a nice leisurely lunch that took all day and caught up on all the gossip from both sides of the equator - though she wasn't much interested in what was going on in Coronation Street (top British tv soap running for decades!)

I was already loving Australia and by pure coincidence I was going to be there to celebrate Australia Day the following day! (But that did mean a Bank Holiday and yet again, nowhere open for me to get my legs waxed!)

The following morning I woke with a smile to see the sun was shining brightly outside. And after a quick breakfast Caroline, Pierre and I went down to the ever popular Cottesloe Beach to watch the annual 'Havianas Thong Challenge'! Whereby every year, people buy a giant 'inflatable thong' sponsored by Haviana, to float on this particular part of the Indian Ocean. All done in competition with various other beaches around the coast of Australia.

I was quite shocked and confused as to why and even how anyone could float on an inflatable thong! To my relief Pierre pointed out 'a thong' in Australia is what we would call a 'flip flop' in the UK! I was quite relieved and cleared the thought of embarassing chaffing in unwanted parts from my mind.

Suffice it to say, Cottesloe Beach won with an impressive total of 2210 inflatable Haviana thongs out on the ocean! I was so proud!

After a few hours relaxing on the beach, in the hope no one would notice my hairy legs, we went over to friends (all originally from Scotland) that live in a beautiful city apartment by The River Swan, (think of a City of London apartment  overlooking the Thames.

We had a really nice meal on the balcony (I avoided the kangaroo burgers as that was not what I meant earlier by finally meeting a kangaroo) and then we sat back and watched the stunning fire work display.

I asked if Australia Day was their Independence Day, the response I got was: "Well sadly it's more like the day that the white man came over and savaged the Aboriginees".

"Oh?" I said and carried on chewing on my lettuce leaf ...

 

Too much monkeying around ...

And so it was finally the last full day of our tour with Intrepid Travel, in Indonesia and we had survived the rain sodden evening on Tanah Lot without any of us catching pneumonia.

TC  was still suffering from the Dragon Fruit a few days earlier, but as many of you may now know, nothing and I mean NOTHING gets in the way of TC and her food. So even this didn't stop her stocking up on an assortment of crisps and possibly an ice lolly for our final mini bus ride down to Ubud - this was after our early breakfast so we could be up and on our way ASAP.

Now some of you avid readers may have heard of Ubud before; having been made (in)famous by the best selling book 'Eat Pray Love' (I personally gave up on the book after the first couple of chapters before the woman had even left Italy!)

But we only had one day in this city held as 'The cultural centre of Bali', which really was not enough time to experience all its shops, cafes, museums and art galleries, as well as have a few hours by the swimming pool!

The gods were smiling down on us that day! The sun was shining and continued to shine til nightfall with not a drop of rain in sight!

Having arrived at the hotel - Artini 2 Cottages - we dropped our bags, locked away our valuables and headed up the street (avoiding all the little Hindu offerings scattered over the pavement) and went for a mooch around the shops. The boutiques were all quite quaint, with beautiful, colourful outfits on sale and stunning jewellery. But it was so hot, that we were just grateful to step inside for a moment and make use of the air conditioning. TC was on the lookout for a ring to replace the one she had lost in the 'Room of the flying Beetles', but nothing would suffice, so we agreed it was time to stop off for a drink.

We ended up in a lovely little French Cafe (well we were in Indonesia?!) where we sat for about an hour eating baguettes and pastries, whilst admiring pictures of The Eiffel Tower and the Champs Élysées (well we were in Indonesia?!)

Then after TC managed to prize herself away from chatting to/up the very cute looking French owner, we headed off to 'Mandala Wisata Wanara Wana otherwise known in layman terms as: The Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary - which is "exactly what it says on the tin!" 

Rule one: before entering, douse yourself in mosquito spray!

Rule two: don't walk around with an open bag, especially if you have food in it.

Rule three: don't go with friends who are scared of monkeys!!

We paid our tickets and made our way along the winding path that ran through the dense jungle. Built within this thick forestation are three holy temples and living amongs it all are hundreds of 'cheeky' grey haired, long tailed Balinese Macaques, ever watchful and ready to pounce on an innocent passing tourist in the hope of a bit of food or indeed ... To have their photograph taken!!

Like all animals, they are protective of their young, so it's generally not a good idea to approach a female macaque whilst she is in the middle of feeding her baby, as she is likely to get slightly irritated and should her mate walk past at that time, he may feel the need to 'show you what a nice set of teeth he has' before trying to pounce on you.

These things may seem obvious to you and I but you would be surprised as to how many tourists it doesn't! And so having seen a couple of angry primates (of the monkey variety) my friends decided it was probably best to exit, fast!

And so we headed off further down the path where we happened upon a fenced off area where a handful of deer were being 'looked after'. And I use that term loosely, as we were surprised to find that considering we were supposed to be in a 'Sanctuary', the poor deer where held in a tiny exposed part of the huge jungle, where they were having to sit in their own excrement! I don't know who was more upset - them or the four of us?!

With TC mumbling on about writing letters to management etc ... and me realising that the brown mark on my pink t-shirt was monkey pooh not chocolate (why is it always me?!) we headed out.

After another brief mooch around the shops we returned to our hotel and finally had an afternoon lying by the pool in the beautiful sunshine!

That evening we went to see some Kecak dancing. The Kecak Dance is performed every evening at sunset and it tells an episode from the story of The Ramayana (those of you that have been to India may recognise it). But what is so original about this traditional Balinese dance is that it is not accompanied by any musical instruments, but just the sound of chanting "chak-a-chak-a-chak" from a choir of men sat in a circle around the stage.

The story tells us about Prince Rama and his bid to rescue Sita his wife, who was kidnapped by Rawana (King of Lanka) after he bewitched her into thinking her husband dead and his head held before her as proof.

With Sita gone, Sugriwa (the king of the Monkeys), his son Hanaman and the monkey army accompany Rawana on his quest to rescue his wife. (Are you lost yet?) And as the fighting breaks out, the sound of the chanting builds to a crescendo, whereby Meganada (son of Rawana) is killed, which in turn, results in another battle (still not lost?) whereby Sugriwa and his army set out to destroy the giant Kumbakarna, (brother of Rawana), but not before he manages to massacre hundreds of the Monkey Army as well as Sugriwa himself.

However, (not finished yet), with the help of Hunaman, Sugriwa is awoken from his unconsciousness and bites Kumbakarna in the face, infuriating the giant (understandably), and sending him into a rage causing him to be so distracted that Rama and Laksamana (can't remember who that is), manage to cut of both his arms and then his legs! (I seem to remember something similar in a Monty Python sketch?!)

Kumbakarna lies dead on the ground and out of kindness Rama chants a mantra releasing the giant's soul to heaven!

I should point out that during the early part of the dance - which actually was beautifully told - Hanaman moves amongst the audience (and has his picture taken!!) and who should he decide to sit next to at one point? None other than the inimitable TC! But ... not only did he sit by her side, he also decided to go through her hair, looking for nits! (Well he is a monkey) once satisfied the job was done, he moved off to his next victim, whereby TC immediately turned to me in a panic and said: "I am so pleased he was wearing gloves!"

After the show we met up with Sally and walked through the streets (avoiding the small Hindu offerings) to a lovely restaurant for our last supper - together. 

The food was absolutely amazing, however I was left with a sour taste in my mouth after TC asked Sally, during a discussion about laws and regulations in Indonesia, if there were any people not allowed into the archipelago. To which she replied: "Israelis". Shocked, I responded with, "I was only saying earlier today that I was surprised not to have met any Israelis during the tour; usually when travelling around Asia there are loads of them, now it makes sense". To which Sally casually added: "Oh and Jews and Mormons too."

TC and I exchanged a look of horror and I decided it probably wasn't in my best interest to announce which category I fell into!!

And with that, it was time to go back to the hotel and pack, for tomorrow it was time to say goodbye to Indonesia, Sally, Jo n Jo and my long time travelling friend and head off further south. For I was on my way to Australia!!

"Rippah mate, just throw a few shrimps on the barbie!"

Appearing a little fruity ...

And so it was yet another day starting with yet another train journey. And this time it was a train journey to be taken after a sleepless night of scratching mosquito bites and an upset tummy from Dragon Fruit Overdose! ! All I can say is thank goodness Sally had pre-warned both TC and myself that the fluorescent pink dragon fruit NEVER loses its colour (if you know what I mean). Which actually makes for the weirdest yet most attractive 'powdering of ones nose' you will ever experience!

We got to the station with just enough time to catch our breath and take another 'pink' toilet break before clambering over two sets of railway tracks, (easier for those of us with back packs but not so easy for poor little TC with her wheelie case!), and eventually reaching the train that had just pulled up on yet another set of tracks on the other side of the platform.

After managing to clamber on board, the train immediately started moving, which meant we then had to struggle through three busy carriages towards our allotted seats without falling onto some poor unsuspecting Indonesian commuter.

As we made our way through the train, the other passengers stared at us, (nothing new there), and shouted out "Hello", as well as various other comments in Indonesian whilst giggling like little kids. We just smiled back and nodded, praying that no one would ask to have their photo taken with us, because, at that precise moment in time, we really were not in the mood!

At one point, I caught the eye of an Indonesian man lounging on one of the seats, he grinned up at me and then I heard him say: "Hello Rumbuting", after which he and everyone else in the carriage burst out laughing!

Trying not to feel too self conscious I sat down in my seat and waited for Sally to join us then asked her what he meant. She smiled and said: "He didn't say 'Rumbuting' he called you 'Rambutan', it's a tropical fruit, that's red and hairy".

I wasn't sure whether or not to take that as a compliment and then TC turned to me and said: " Well calling you a 'Rambutan' is better than calling you an 'Orangutan'!"

Oh I don't know reader, you decide!

We settled down in our seats, TC turned to me laughing and said "How cute, people are laughing at you not with you ..." I threw her a look and turned to stare out of the window, wondering why she felt that comment would make me feel any better?!

As the train trundled along the tracks I noticed three Indonesian women and their children sat opposite us, who were not trying in the least to be subtle about talking and staring at us. Then one of them signed to me that she wanted to take a photo of us all. TC and I nodded and the next thing we knew, the kids were plonked on our laps, the two Jos were leaning behind us and the three women were happily clicking away on their camera phones.

I signed back at them, asking to take a look at the picture and immediately one of the phones was placed in my hand. TC and I looked down at the screen and laughed when we realised they hadn't taken snapshots, but videos of us all just sat there, grinning back at them jiggling their bemused looking children on our knees!

After about an hour and a half, this 'little rambutan', (I've decided I prefer that to Orangutan), and her friends arrived at Ketapong where we caught the ferry for a ride that took under an hour, to cross the Java Straight over to Gilimanuk in Bali. Thank goodness, that for once, the rain had held off and the sun was shining down on us!

Once we had reached dry land, our driver for the next couple of days - Marlie (from Bali) - met us in the mini van and we were off on a five hour drive to Pura Tanah Lot in West Bali. Thank goodness for air con, because by now it was really hot and humid.

Unlike Java, Bali is not predominantly Muslim, but Hindu, with thousands of Hindu temples all over the island - most people have one in their homes as well as a different one for every ceremony in each village. With Hinduism brought over by the Indian traders a couple of thousand years ago, yet again, the practise/beliefs of this religion have metamorphosised slightly from the original and now includes a touch of ancestor worship and animism. And as you walk down the streets; unlike back home in London where it is advised to watch where one steps for fear of standing on a piece of sticky gum spat on the pavement (or in fact just the spit), in Bali one must watch where one steps for fear of standing in a tiny offering to the gods, placed daily on the pavement outside every shop, hotel or home.

Tanah Lot is the most visited and photographed temple on Bali and we were off to watch the sun set over it (apparently a must for all tourists). The hotel we were to be staying, the Dewi Sinta, was right in the heart of everything.

We checked into our rooms; luckily ours met with TC's approval and she laid down for a little cat nap,  still feeling the effects of the now infamous Pink Dragon Fruit and a touch of heat exhaustion - we still weren't used to all this lovely sunshine! 

Looking slightly paler than usual, she said that she was obviously much more sensitive than I was, to which I explained, yet again, (as I had done in India three years ago and Mexico last year), that all she needed to do was cut back on her OCD hygiene rituals and eat more dirt. That way she would build up her constitution and bacteria in her gut. She looked up at me, unimpressed and said she would consider it next time she was gardening!  

Eventually we stepped back out into the glorious sunshine and joined the two Jos for a meander down to Puna Tanah Lot, where we planned to check out the 17th Century temple where locals go to pray for a successful harvest, (bit like 'The Wicker Man' but without the human sacrifice), then wander around the shops before finding a table at one of the restaurants above to watch the stunning sun set, (as I mentioned before, this is apparently a 'must not miss' event).

There were hundreds of tourists around, so after taking a few snap shots we headed up the narrow path towards the overlooking restaurants.

On our way up we happened across a coffee shop selling… Luwak coffee! Obviously we all sniffed and started to walk off with indignation when we realised that asleep on the counter and a couple of the tables were a few Lewaks themselves! And hanging from a bar in the corner of the cafe were a couple of fruit bats.

I asked the owner if they were his, he smiled and introduced us to 'Morgan' the Lewak fast asleep on the counter top and assured us he had adopted them and that they weren't kept in a cage or force fed. I pointed to the fruit bats and again he assured us they were well looked after; at night they fly off for food then fly back in the morning to sleep. I asked what the bats were called, he said "Petat and Bollok". I turned to the others and sniggered. Then as if on cue the male bat stretched out his massive wings and casually yawned and I saw why he was called 'Bollok'!

Our next stop was the restaurant at the top where we could have a nice cold and refreshing drink and watch the sun set.

We found the perfect spot, sipped on our drinks and chatted away exchanging holiday anecdotes, slightly aware of the temperature dropping and the clouds building up above.

Within half an hour, the sun was obliterated by the massive grey clouds and the heavens opened. Yet again, we were completely and utterly drenched! 

So much for the 'must not miss amazing sun set', we may as well have pulled out a canoe and paddled back to the hotel!

All I can say is: "Bollok!!!"

Coffee, coco and ... Condoms!

The train journey was approximately three hours which could have been perfectly filled with a couple of episodes of The Killing, Season Two! But, as much as I'd tried, we had not had been close to any wifi signals that were fast enough to download. However, all was not lost because I remembered I had in fact downloaded the Alfred Hitchcock film 'Suspicion' from BBC iplayer back in the UK!

Perfect! Well it was another thriller and it was directed by the master of suspense himself and so we settled down in our seats, stuck in our headphones and I hit play. 

It took less than half an hour before TC pulled out her earphones and told me that she was finding it really annoying and irritating and that she couldn't bear to watch it anymore. (I have to say I agreed with her!) The characters and dialogue was so sickly sweet that we were both cringing in our seats and close to throwing up! I personally don't think it's a film that has lasted the test of time. 

Anyway, I persevered til the end with a few cat naps in between and soon after we arrived in Kalibaru, at The Margo Utomo Agro Resort. (http://www.margoutomo.com)

Our faces lit up! It looked amazing! I mean it was amazing, but more so after our previous hotel. There were little terraced bungalows along a windy path that led to a large pool. But as per usual, it was raining and so I took the opportunity to re pack my ruck sack - and TC's! (Mainly so that I could work out how much of my stuff I could send home with her and clear up more space in mine!

Kalibaru is a small hill town in Banyuwangi and well known for its coffee, coco and rubber plantations and we were to visit one of them. That said the resort itself has a small one on its premises, including a couple of cows and chickens. A lot of the resorts produce is used in their restaurant and the food did taste lovely and fresh. It was just such a shame that apart from another couple and an abundance of mosquitoes, we were the only people staying there - it's out of season being the rainy season!!

We were all pretty shattered from our early start that day, so the evening was a quiet one; an early dinner, a nice shower (the first hot one in days!!) and off to bed. I had been feeling quite pleased that the swelling in my feet had finally gone down - it had only taken almost the whole trip but it was such a delight to see my ankles again - however, for some strange reason with the swelling gone, the mosquitoes were attacking left, right and centre and using TC as my decoy was no longer working!

The following morning was a rare treat whereby we had a lie in til about 9! Then TC and I compared mosquito bites and joined the two Jos for breakfast. 

It was the best breakfast of the whole tour! A King's/Sultan's feast lay awaiting us in the dining room! Plates of fresh fruits (tropical of course), freshly made mozzarella (cows), freshly made butter and jams, even freshly made bread!! And for someone like me that struggles to eat breakfast I have to say it was delicious!!

My favourite was the purple Dragon Fruit. I had had the white one in Thailand and found it pretty bland, so on seeing the vibrant pink/purple version I had to give it a go and was not disappointed, even after seconds ... Ok thirds!

Sally was going to meet us around 10am to take us to the local plantation, however the night before she had gone on a rekkie for an Intrepid Adventure excursion that they are hoping to add to their itinerary; another volcano climb at sunrise. But it had gone ten and she still hadn't returned, even the hotel staff couldn't get a hold of her!

Obviously being the drama queen that I am, I was fearful that she may have fallen down the volcano having been overcome by the sulphur fumes spewing from it. I decided it was best to keep my fears to myself and it was lucky that I did because an hour later, Sally hurried in apologetic, unharmed but stressed and sulphuric, in need of food and a shower!

We reconvened a half hour later and took off for the plantation a short drive away.

As you can imagine, the acres (sorry hectares) were luscious and green and prior to be taken to see all the fruit, herbs and spices that were grown there, we were shown how the rubber tapped from the rubber trees, is turned into rubber sheets and mass marketed around the world. Every bit of rubber is used, even the discarded bits that have somehow been mulched together with grass and tree bark is used - for flip flops!

Next we were shown how the coffee beans (NOT the Luwak kind thank goodness) are harvested as well as the coco beans! Have you ever tried a raw coco bean? If not, I suggest you don't, unless, that is, you are partial to eating food that tastes like tree bark! It's hard to believe that delicious Cadburys is a by-product of such a disgusting tasting bean! Oh and before you get too concerned (as I'm sure you were!) for fear of a repercussion of 'The stinky bean incident' a week ago, we each pulled out a tissue from our respective bags and politely spat our chewed cacao beans into them, rather than discarding them onto the floor and therefore hopefully not offending anyone this time!

On route to the main house, we stopped off in the forest of rubber trees where one of the plantation workers showed us how the rubber is tapped. He had a smile on his face as he turned to us and said "The condom tree". Unsure of what to say, we all smiled back and nodded. Then the younger of the two men put his hand casually on my shoulder and repeated in my ear: "The condom tree" and sniggered.

I cleared my throat, slowly removed my shoulder from under his sweaty Palm and shuffled off over to TC.

Then it started raining! (Quelle surprise) and we were ushered onto the verandah of the main house where we were served fresh coffee (or tea), banana fritters and an assortment of fruit - including the pink dragon fruit - all grown on the plantation.

It was only after my second slice of Dragon Fruit and us all announcing how much we liked it that we were then informed: "Very good for constipation, will give you diarrhoea."

Considering all of us had already eaten an abundance of the 'laxative' fruit for breakfast, plus the Jamu a few days before, the chances of us all spending the next few hours on the toilet were pretty high! And so the plate was kindly pushed to the side of the table ...

Thankfully the rain didn't last long and we returned to our hotel, where an afternoon of R & R was required, (and probably best to be close to a toilet). TC had a foot and leg massage in the room, whilst I sat on the verandah writing and the two Jos went for a swim ... It was Paradise.

That night as I was getting ready for bed, the itching started, I went for a shower and found that not only did my legs now have a smattering of mozzie bites but so did the lower part of my back and top of my buttocks! 

It seems that if one is going to use anti mosquito devices in the bedroom, then they all hang out in the bathroom and enjoy an absolute feast on any unsuspecting victims curled up on the loo from eating too much Pink Dragon fruit!!

I informed TC that the blood sucking bastards were no longer just dining out on her. She was genuinely shocked at how many bites I now had, though I have to admit she did seem to have a tiny bit of a mischievous smile on her face ... As competitive as we both can be, that was one competition she was happy not to win and to finally be able to step down as 'Mosquito Decoy'!